| In most families, child-rearing duties fall to the mother in | | | | parents in japan, I can say that one of the common |
| the household. | | | | factors I often see is the absence (physical or |
| Moms have some of the most demanding and | | | | emotional) of a father figure. Often times the mother is |
| under-appreciated careers in the world. And guess | | | | single, the father is no longer present. |
| what? For moms there is no "TGIF" party, no | | | | Be Present! There used to be an argument about |
| weekend for mom to recharge her batteries. You | | | | "quality time" being more important that "quantity of |
| may have noticed over summer vacation that when | | | | time." In fact, both are needed. Dads need to be not |
| other people have vacation, if anything, mom gets | | | | only physically present, but emotionally present as well. |
| busier. | | | | That means more eye contact, more listening. It means |
| We men have our jobs, too, and they can be tiring. But | | | | less grunts of "conversation" while watching the TV. |
| we get to go outside, meet other people, and change | | | | Remember to ask yourself, "Is this the most valuable |
| our environment every morning. | | | | thing I could be doing for my family right now?" Of |
| So what's a father to do with his kids? Even more so, | | | | course, working is important to Dad's esteem as well |
| what can the father be doing if one of his children is | | | | as for the financial security it gives the family. But is |
| not going to school? | | | | working late every day really the best use of your |
| The easiest thing to do ( and what I see most often) is | | | | time? Whenever I start to lose my "work/life balance," I |
| the blame game. "I'm out all day earning money for this | | | | remember the Cat Stevens song "Cats in the Cradle" |
| family! Couldn't you at least get the kids to school?" | | | | and then usually find some time for my wife and kids. |
| Blaming your wife is certainly no way to address the | | | | Don't neglect yourself! Yes, it's often true as they say |
| issue of school absentee-ism. Neither is blaming the | | | | that, "Nobody's happy unless momma's happy," But the |
| school, the teachers, or your child him or herself. | | | | same can be said for dads. If you are burnt out from |
| The first thing you can do is to support your wife. She | | | | work, stressed and tired, your playtime with your kids |
| and you are in this together, and she needs your | | | | is not going to be very fun. |
| support (and you will need hers) as you tackle some | | | | If you've just been bawled out by a work superior, |
| of the challenges you will face being any kind of | | | | make sure not to bring that home with you. To be |
| parent, not to mention being a parent of a child with | | | | sure, family is a man's work respite, where we can |
| special needs. | | | | re-energize amongst the love of the people closest to |
| Now, being the parent of a troublesome kid may not | | | | us. Make sure that you, as the father in your family, |
| be as glamorous as being the parent of a golf pro or a | | | | has the energy and good spirits to be a good family |
| t.v. personality, but it can be just as rewarding. | | | | member and leader, too. |
| Perhaps the next most important thing is to never give | | | | Finally, Have fun! Parenting is an important job, but that |
| up. If you stay in the game, and get support, you have | | | | doesn't mean it always has to be serious. Make sure |
| the opportunity to learn more about your children, your | | | | that you do make time to play with your kids and your |
| spouse, your family and yourself than you ever | | | | wife. Do something silly, just for fun. Your family are |
| thought possible. | | | | also your team-mates, and together, you will be able to |
| The easiest and least effective route for the father to | | | | solve all the problems life throws your way. Have fun |
| take is just to opt out. Deny there is a problem or | | | | together! That is one of the best things a father, and a |
| leave it to mom and the teachers to sort out. | | | | family, can offer. |
| In my 15 years of meeting school refusal kids and their | | | | |