Aging Parents Caring For Their Adult Children With Special Needs

The scene is becoming more familiar in communitiesan age of blended families and non-traditional
across the country. An aging parent, usually themarriages, families can be the least desirable place for
mother, weeps bitterly as she is forced to surrendera person with special needs. Moreover, stability should
custodial care of an adult child with special needs.be the number one priority when making an important
After caring for a loved one for fifty years or more,decision such as determining place of residence. Family
separation can be excruciating. However, the mother ismembers are not always in a financial position to
now in her late eighties and experiencing healthassume the role of a surrogate parent. Depending on
problems which preclude her from continuing as thethe medical needs of the special needs individual,
primary care giver. Parents of special needs childrenrelocating may not be a viable option for many families
realize this day is inevitable. Early on in the process ain this situation.
decision was made to keep the child in the home, noThere are high functioning people with autism or
matter what the costs. Those costs involve theasperger's syndrome capable of living independently
aggregate total of emotional, financial, and timewith a solid support system. Some parents are
investments required to provide a loving and stablepurchasing a condo or apartment with the intent of
home environment. Life for the children in thesemaking it the child's primary residence at some point in
situations is no cakewalk either. Their lives are oftenthe future. The greatest advantage in utilizing this
characterized by isolation and uncertainty, not tostrategy is the security of knowing your child will have
mention being misunderstood at every turn. The "child"a place to live when you're no longer around. The fact
in this situation is now approaching sixty and alsothat you can also leverage your tax position doesn't
realizes, on some level, change was bound to happen.hurt at all either. The vast majority of people with
Two lives intertwined by an unbreakable cord, mustautism, however, will require some assistance from
now part according to life's epic design.family or a facility designed to provide direct care.
With the proliferation of Autism Spectrum DisordersFinances are a major consideration when discussing
rampant in society, millions of parents will face thisnursing home or assisted living arrangements. This
scenario in the not so distant future. Although there areoption usually means qualifying for medicaid since
differences from past generations, the family dynamicmedicare does not cover long term care expenses.
hasn't changed. The fundamental question for parentsLast, but certainly not least, there is the sticky age 65
of special needs children is, "Who will care for myrequirement involved with medicare. That having been
special needs child when I'm unable to or when I die?"said, we come full circle with the issue of growing older
In response to that question, the obvious answer wouldand caring for special needs adult children. After all is
be siblings or some other family member. But uponsaid and done, we love our children unconditionally and
closer examination, the obvious choice may not be inacknowledge the day of separation that is sure to
the best interest of the person with special needs. Income.