| With a brain injury, and possibly physical injuries, the | | | | once knew may no longer exist, he/she is still alive. |
| injured person may be a shell of who he/she once | | | | How do they mourn the loss of what is gone but is |
| was. Because of this, caregivers often become | | | | actually there? For many there will be a process of |
| 'married widows' because of the loss of the | | | | mourning for the relationship that once existed but few |
| relationship they had prior to the injury. They may no | | | | friends and family members will understand or have |
| longer have an equal partner. With the many | | | | sympathy for those feelings of grief that will likely be |
| changes in their spouse, social occasions with friends | | | | experienced by the non-injured spouse. |
| and family may also gradually become fewer and | | | | It is important for caregivers to look after themselves |
| fewer. This places the 'healthy' partner in a 'social | | | | so that they remain healthy and are able to make |
| limbo' situation. | | | | better decisions. It is important that they stay |
| Caregivers very often receive little sympathy or | | | | connected with others - their friends and family, as well |
| support from family and friends because the injured | | | | as possibly joining a support group. It will be equally |
| person will often be on their best behaviour when they | | | | important for them to occasionally get respite and take |
| occasionally do see those outside of immediate family | | | | time for themselves, and if necessary, they must ask |
| members. Survivors usually save their worst | | | | for help. No one knows if help is needed unless it is |
| behaviour for their spouses. | | | | asked for. |
| And for this reason, occasionally parents or grown | | | | Because of the difficulties of being a caregiver, many |
| children, (particularly if they are not the caregiver's | | | | relationships dissolve following the injury. Those who |
| children), of an adult survivor may attempt to intervene | | | | make the decision to leave the relationship usually do |
| to the detriment of the attempts of the spousal | | | | so with feelings of guilt and certainly with feelings of |
| caregiver to give support and stability. The | | | | failure. Friends and family will sometimes not |
| intervention sometimes may not be in the form of help | | | | understand this choice and may fault the caregiver |
| but rather of criticism or attempts to dissuade the | | | | for 'giving up' especially if it appears to others that |
| brain-injured survivor to cooperate. ie.: not attending | | | | things are going well. |
| support groups or therapy sessions, etc. if he/she | | | | For those who would criticize, it is best to remember |
| doesn't want to or the parents or children don't think | | | | that none of us know what goes on behind closed |
| there is a need for them to go. This makes the role | | | | doors. For each of us, a decision such as this can |
| of a spousal caregiver even more difficult. | | | | only be made by those individuals involved. |
| For the non-injured person, although the spouse they | | | | |