| As parents, we strive to give our children the skills to | | | | may need to ask in order to represent your child's |
| be self-confident and able to stand up for themselves. | | | | view accurately. My daughter would get frustrated |
| Parenting children who have challenges, usually means | | | | with my wording and next thing, was asking questions |
| that parents have had to take a strong advocacy roll | | | | and feeling more comfortable expressing herself. |
| and sometimes, even an adversarial role with schools | | | | School staff must remain focused on what the child |
| districts, sport teams, groups and more. In that process, | | | | needs (finances and resources are not allowed) and |
| it can sometimes be difficult to nurture and create that | | | | by having the child/student attend, it helps keep the |
| independence in your child to be able to advocate for | | | | school staff focused on the child. No one should in any |
| themselves. | | | | way negate what the child says; everyone agrees |
| We currently live in a time where many parents, while | | | | that there will be times when they will disagree but all |
| raising their children, may also have to care for their | | | | discussions are valued. Always tape the meeting. |
| own elderly parents or another senior adult. This | | | | Continue to always do the preparation work with your |
| increases stress and minimizes your time. It is even | | | | child with the goal of them writing it down, handling it at |
| more essential, as a parent, then to teach your child to | | | | the PET, with you more as a back-up, and doing most |
| be able to advocate for themselves as early as | | | | of the talking. Always tape the meeting for review of |
| possible. The rewards for this are many and impact | | | | what happened but also to point out to your child how |
| many. | | | | well they did in participating. |
| Following are some ways parents can coach their | | | | The goal is to have your child develop the |
| child with special needs to be comfortable in attending, | | | | self-confidence to attend and actively participate in |
| participating and self-advocating for themselves in their | | | | their PET meeting. As a parent, your role shifts from |
| Pupil Evaluation Team (PET) meeting (and eventually in | | | | advocating to one of support. It is the most wonderful |
| any situation). | | | | feeling when your child tells you that they don't need |
| Discuss the upcoming PET meeting in advance with | | | | you to attend the meeting with them (you must do so |
| your child - the younger the better but you can start at | | | | until your child is age 18 but you can just be an |
| any age. What things are going well in school and with | | | | observer) and they actually take charge of the |
| teachers/aids/other students and what isn't going so | | | | meeting and the school personnel go along with it. The |
| well. Take notes. Ask your child what they would like | | | | student is the point of focus and what the whole |
| to change, what would they like to learn that they | | | | meeting's purpose is for - how to best provide the right |
| aren't being taught right now, what subject or activity | | | | type of education your child needs/deserves/and is |
| they hate and why. Explain to your child how the PET | | | | entitled to. |
| meeting works, who will be there, what they cover | | | | Simultaneously educating your child about the PET |
| and its purpose. Show your child everything you have | | | | process and learning to advocate for themselves, is |
| planned for the meeting and that you are bringing your | | | | learning to advocate for themselves in school when an |
| copy of the Special Education Law and last PET and | | | | issue arises. It is best to be able to deal with a school |
| IEP (Individual Education Plan), this way your child sees | | | | immediately rather than your child coming home after |
| you being prepared. | | | | to tell you, sending a note or trying to see the teacher |
| Ask if your child would like to attend the PET, | | | | the next day or even a day after that before it is dealt |
| encourage them but don't push. If they agree to attend, | | | | with. What a time delay, meanwhile, your child has to |
| let them know they can talk if they want but if not, you | | | | live in limbo. By giving your child the tools to |
| will follow your notes. Make sure they always know | | | | self-advocate in school, this is eliminated and will serve |
| you are on their side. | | | | your child well the rest of their life. Every child with |
| Tape the meeting whether your child attends or not | | | | special needs can advocate to some level. |
| You have a legal right to have any meeting taped but | | | | Role playing is a great way to teach a child how to |
| instead of making an issue, I simply say it is so my child | | | | handle situations that arise at school, teach what and |
| and I can listen to it later. Take notes too and check | | | | what not to say, tact and that they have a right to say |
| off each point you have on your sheets and what the | | | | something. I knew the day that my child came home |
| response is. It is important for your child and you to | | | | and told me that she had walked out of class on her |
| see that everything is covered. Once home, go over | | | | teacher and when the teacher asked her why, she |
| the results of the meeting with your child in detail using | | | | said that she was going to the principal's office to |
| your notes and memory. Listen to the tape once with | | | | complain that the teacher was not following a certain |
| your child and see if it agrees with your memory and if | | | | aspect of her IEP and though she had tried to talk with |
| all your questions got answered. Allow your child to | | | | the teacher about it and nothing had changed, then she |
| listen to the tape as many times as they want until the | | | | was going to the principal to complain that the teacher |
| next meeting. Keep teaching and reinforcing your child | | | | wasn't following the IEP. The teacher did get in trouble |
| of their rights and their IEP. | | | | and things changed. That day showed a child with |
| After your child has attended a PET or two, at the | | | | disabilities who could advocate for herself and I that I |
| next one, encourage your child to be willing to answer | | | | had done my job well. Now it's your turn. |
| any questions you might have at the PET that you | | | | |