| It is important to be aware that negative feelings will | | | | better chance of changing negative behaviors, |
| arise. Try not to get attached to those feelings, don't | | | | improving performance, increasing self-acceptance, |
| numb them out, and don't bury them. They will shift | | | | and self-esteem. However, if you missed that |
| over time. Remember, it is a process. We are all | | | | opportunity as I did with Brandon, do not give up. We |
| different, but I have found that surrendering to "what is" | | | | did not find out Brandon had Asperger's until he was |
| helps one to move through the acceptance stage | | | | thirty-two years old. Early intervention is key, but I |
| more quickly, as resistance to "what is" will only prolong | | | | know firsthand it's never too late to get help. |
| it. When you are able to face the diagnosis head-on | | | | A) What I wish I knew early on about having a child |
| the negative feelings will begin to fade away, and | | | | with special needs: |
| acceptance is right around the corner. | | | | 1. Do not take it personally. |
| 1. Gather as much information as possible. | | | | 2. It is not your fault. |
| 2. Join support groups. | | | | 3. The sooner you give up resistance, the sooner you |
| 3. Talk about your child's disability. | | | | can help your child. |
| 4. Keep a journal, and write down anything and | | | | 4. Trust yourself. |
| everything. | | | | 5. When traditional treatments are not working, look |
| 5. Find one person you can share your innermost | | | | into alternatives. |
| feelings with. | | | | 6. Doctors are not always right. |
| 6. When you are ready talk to other parents. They | | | | 7. Find a physician you and your child like, and who |
| can be a great source of information and support. | | | | understands your situation. |
| 7. Try to live in the present moment whenever you | | | | 8. Acceptance comes only when you are ready. |
| can. | | | | 9. Take care of yourself first, and you will have more |
| 8. Be courageous, and believe in yourself. | | | | to give. |
| 9. Trust your feelings. | | | | 10. Get as much help, assistance and support from |
| 10. Be kind to yourself. | | | | people who care, as often as possible. |
| Do not keep secrets, especially about a health | | | | 11. Hold onto HOPE, and never let it go. |
| condition. It causes more harm than good. | | | | As parents, we must remember raising a child with |
| My son, Brandon was diagnosed with epilepsy and | | | | special needs is a process. There may be days when |
| learning disorders at age nine. The pediatric neurologist | | | | we do not know how we can hang on, but somehow |
| told us to tell no one, including Brandon that he had | | | | we make it through. The tools I found to be the most |
| epilepsy, due to the stigma attached. For several | | | | helpful were living in the moment, and having hope. |
| years, I did what she said. That was one of the worst | | | | When we live in the moment, not out into the future, it |
| things I could have done. | | | | helps to eliminate fear and anxiety. I also found that |
| I know from personal experience, that when our | | | | holding onto hope was not a luxury, it was a necessity. |
| children are helped at an early age, they have a much | | | | |