What Do You Prize Most in Mid-life?

>speaking schedule, and a book — all focused on
helping others in mid-life discover and do what they
The big question: What’s really important?love. Every day in my practice, I see people who are
The message I deliver most to mid-life professionals ishaving the same emotional, professional, financial, and
that a key ingredient of happiness is finding vocationalrelationship challenges that I went through.
passion. It’s finding the perfect alignment ofIt wasn’t easy getting here. The first few years
interests and abilities that make going to work seemwere extremely painful. Financial stress increased,
like it isn’t work at all.relationships were strained, and emotional stress
People who find the magic balance tend to bereached all-time highs. But now, three years later, I
healthier and more energetic. In turn, they find morehave finally emerged with a more congruent and
satisfaction in other areas of their lives.authentic life. I say with confidence that it has all been
Too many people go through life without having theirworth it.
interests and abilities aligned. The inevitable result is aThe first step: Know what matters to you
feeling of deep ennui as people drag themselves outIf you want to find your vocational passion, it has to
of bed every day to endure the grind required tobegin with a question: What is most important to you?
support the lifestyles of their families. You may do thisThis may be the most important question you will ever
well, even exceptionally. But the work itself is rarelyask yourself. You need to look deep inside yourself to
what propels people. Instead, it’s a sense ofturn your vague longings into tangible goals, with real
obligation or a feeling of being trapped.paths toward achieving them.
But there is another way. You can develop a plan toOnce you answer the question and see the path that
escape the grind, then find work that means somethingthe answers light for you, then it’s time to
and build a comfortable lifestyle around it. Too manysummon the courage to make the transition.
people allow their lifestyles (or the lifestyles they areMatt Vande Voorde walked away from an executive
conditioned to expect) to dictate the kind of work theyposition at a large bank to follow what he prized most
do. And that is where so many people get into trouble,in his life: magazine publishing. His dream was to one
both spiritually and financially.day publish a magazine targeted at helping people with
I discovered all of this the hard way. Now, my missiondisabilities use the Internet. Today, Matt is the proud
is to take what I’ve learned and help others aspublisher of Accessible Content Magazine.
they transition into their life’s vocational passion.Jim Goebelbecker was tired of long hours selling
This requires courage, risk, and a willingness to makeproducts that he didn’t care about. He prized his
significant personal changes. But with determinationfamily and nonprofit work. He also took a risk and
and planning, anyone can do it. You will later asknever looked back. Today, Jim is an executive with a
yourself why you waited so long.large nonprofit on the east coast. He works just 10
Waking up to the rest of your lifeminutes away from his home.
I had a good job, a million-dollar house, and a greatFive steps to discover and follow your passion
family. I also had staggering personal debt from leadingMaking this level of change in your life isn’t an
a materialistic lifestyle. To top it off, I found noovernight process. Once you understand that a
satisfaction in my work.change is essential to making the rest of your life
My way out came suddenly. Three years ago, I hadmatter, you can follow this simple process to move
an epiphany as I stood before my coworkers, givingyour dreams and desires into concrete actions.
yet another Power Point presentation. I suddenly shutEvaluate what you want. Ask the big questions and
down. I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore.answer them honestly. Why lie to yourself?
I woke up the next morning and felt, more or less,Envision your future. You need to visualize what
back to my old self. Perhaps they were right, I thought.you’re dreaming about. Then, develop a
Maybe I just had a touch of the flu. So I drove to work.concrete understanding of what it will take to get
But I never left the parking lot.there.
I didn’t take the final plunge right away. I felt tooTune out negative feedback. Everyone will try to talk
tied to the life I was living. So I struggled through otheryou out of doing this. Listen to yourself.
jobs over the next few years. But the results andAssess your risks. Take an inventory of your assets,
feelings were the same.obligations, and health. Then, make the necessary
Finally, I had enough. This was despite the responsibilityadjustments that will minimize the impact and risk of
of being the sole provider for my wife and threemaking a major life change.
children, having a mortgage, caring for a seriously illTake small steps. You don’t have to quit
child, dealing with growing medical bills, and shoulderingtomorrow. You can start in small ways by doing
$200,000 in credit card debt.research on your dream vocation, maybe taking a
In 2002, in the middle of a tough economy, I walkedclass. Or you can make small lifestyle changes to
away from a six-figure job as a vice president andreduce your personal “burn rate.”
managing director of a billion-dollar multinational firm.In the end, you must give yourself permission to follow
This time, there was no turning back.your heart. That’s what I did. So did Matt, Jim,
I had no intention of walking away from myand so many others. They now jump out of bed each
responsibilities. But I had to find a way to earn anmorning looking forward to a day of vocational
income in a more meaningful way.passion. You can have this feeling too. First, you must
Today, I have a private consulting practice, a busydecide what’s really most important.