Learn how to help people with disabilities


How To Avoid Giving Offense Or Being Misunderstood

There's probably nothing morejobs or roles are filled only by a
humiliating than to make a remark incertain sex or gender. In other words,
public and have someone take offense atdon't talk about "policemen," but rather
the comment. Some remarks aboutabout "police officers"; don't refer to
individuals and groups can even be thethe mailmen," but to "mail carriers."
occasion for a lawsuit against you orAnd don't refer to our "forefathers,"
your company.but instead tour "ancestors."
In modern business language, the spokenThe question here is not a matter of
and written word has become aprinciple, but of practice.
battleground. Terms once regarded asSpecifically, will the day be carried on
benign have turned into "fightingthis point by the adoption of the
words." Women, various ethnic groups,gender-neutral word "person"? That is,
older parties, and other parties (suchwill words like "policeperson,"
as homosexuals, or "gays") have become"chairperson," "mailperson." and
much more sensitive to language theywaitperson" become standard usage? It
believe may denigrate them. Using themappears the term "person" is a
"wrong" words can injure yourubiquitous in our society as the
reputation, and even destroy yourdesignation "Comrade" was in Chairman
career. Thus, it's up to you, as aMao's China.
speaker, to choose your words carefully.4. Avoid the "he/she" pronoun problem by
There are certain general principles youmaking singular nouns into plurals. For
can follow that will minimize the chanceexample, suppose you say, "The engineer
you will unintentionally offend a memberis a problem solver; he does not know
of the most sensitive groups. But let'sthe meaning of the word "impossible."'
be candid: almost any usage will offendIf you say that, some people might be
or at least irritate someone. In thisoffended by the male referent "he." A
area, "zero defects" probably is ansimple way to overcome that problem is
unattainable goal.add an "s" to "engineer." That makes the
Here are five principles you can usesentences read: "Engineers are
that will help you avoid sayingproblem-solvers, they don't know the
something offensive:meaning of the word "impossible."'
1. Identify people the way they want toThis approach seems to solve the problem
be called. If some people of Africanwith wordiness inherent in always having
heritage want to be calledto say "he and she." Some notable
"African-Americans," then do so. Ifexperts on language usage may object to
other individuals want to be calledthe principle; their point is that
"Blacks," do so. The same principlehistorically, "he" as a pronoun
applies with "gays' (rather thanreference could refer either to males or
"homosexuals") and "Latinos" (ratherfemales. These individuals seem to be
than "Hispanics").fighting a losing battle.
The caution here is that some people5. Refer to people with disabilities as
don't like the proliferation ofthat, "people with disabilities." In the
"hyphenated Americans"eyes of many people, calling such
(Italian-Americans, Greek-Americans, andindividuals "handicapped" or "disabled"
so on). Some people feel that theis to confuse the individual with the
hyphenation turns people into partialdisability.
Americans. These people are in theA caution about using the term
minority, but there are not alone."physically challenged." To some people,
2. Whenever possible, don't generalizethis well-intentioned term implies that
about groups; talk instead in terms ofdiseases such as multiple sclerosis or
individuals. In other words, don't say,"Lou Gehrig's Disease" are "challenges."
"Women are submissive"; and don't sayThe further implication would be that
"Men are aggressive." Individual womenpeople who don't overcome their
may be submissive, as individual man may"challenge" have somehow failed is a
be aggressive. Generalizations aboutridiculous notion.
groups are always wrong, if not totally,In the politically correct and sensitive
at least partially.society that we are now living in it is
This limitation is that this approach isalmost impossible to give a speech
easy in theory, hard in practice. How,without someone taking offense to
for example, is a company's "affirmativesomething you say, but by following
action" officer to avoid generalizingthese five principles you can greatly
about groups? Also, in time ofreduce your chances of giving offense or
heightened racial, gender, and ethnicbeing misunderstood.
awareness, is it realistic to expectCopyright©2008 by Joe Love and JLM &
people to stop generalizing about suchAssociates, Inc. All rights reserved
matters?worldwide.
3. Don't use words that imply certain



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